I don\t really like FB. I don\t think people can write anything properly for themselves on FB. No diary on notice board. After some days trying not to check FB, strangely I stop to have need to look at it. If only i could keep updated with friends in a different way.
People write and post all kind of shit, and forward horrible pictures, which made me want to throw up looking at them. Why should I see a drown newborn. Innocent terrorization of kindness. And of course, there is always someone to click LIKE to any shit.
So I will start to write here again. A cozy private corner, not afraid to be seen.
I\m drafting some changes for my life. Shaken recently. But so far still fine. We\ll see.
I will get up as others,
keep time as if I have a job
try to learn seriously as I should.
I will not be extravagant with my time. Everything should be carefully calculated,
But having a complicated soul is a burden.
I dream … and dream … and dream.
I can not contain myself.
I want to write one or 2 norvels. One about Eric, the other about myself. I\m collecting data and details about Eric. I can\t help it.
I want to make some nice clothings for me and Nhim, maybe my husband too if he needs some simple warm things.
I want to get back into the big wide serious world out there, and swim and fly and think and use a bit of my brain.
I\m 32 now. At 35 I probably will still be more or less the same. But 36 and 37 upwards, I can no longer think of myself as a young woman. I often look at old women in their 50s with short grey hair, chubby figure, and feel sorry for them, shit, men will not turn heads for them any more. No one will be attracted to them, except perhaps their older husbands. And not always guaranteed. Youth is a strength that will not stay with woman forever. I will need something else instead. Sad thinking. But well, face it.
Ingunn is back. She is like a godess. She has an aura of warmth and positive energy around her. She walk bare feet on the ground like sowing fertility and joy. I want to bask in her glow. How can a woman be so sweet and nice. Even though there are more wrinkles now on her face. Do men love her, how can they not.
Ok, I\m growing up from tomorrow. I will do it for myself.