It\s difficult to choose a good one to marry. I believe luck is a big factor, you can do several things to increase your chance,but you still need lots of luck.
And after getting married, living with another person is not always easy, especially with an irregular person like my husband. Like, I like to cook and bake, and he doesn\t eat my food or my cakes. In fact, I can\t invite him even, because he needs to lose weight. My advantage becomes a weakness. I\m just unarmed.
After having a child, all the weak joints in your marriage life become intensified. Your margin of tolerance for each other shrink dramatically. Discomfort which you could shrug your shoulder before become unbearable. Romance washed out and new tasks and duties bring out new issues which are most often URGENT, FRUSTRATING and INTOLERABLE.
Yes, life becomes more REAL.
And in fact we are a better couple than many others. Still, I think we\re going thru a 5-year-old-crisis in the life of a marriage.
I think crisis is a normal and natural part of marriage. I don’t think there exists any marriage without crisis and thinking about divorce. Marriage is a dynamic process. You grow different, your perception of your partner grows different, and in turn the perception of your partner makes you grow even more different. Yes, your life partner is a very important person to you as they influence what kind of person you become by living with them.
I think crisis is a good thing too, as it forces you to think and reflect. What went wrong, why we get where we are now, where shall we go. Each crisis we survive together make us a stronger couple and better persons.
Marriage is a horrible powerful machinery structure. It pushes your personality, your career, your mental health, and your children’s future in incredible paths. Thus I think it should be avoided by all possible means to divorce, as the destruction of a failed marriage is just as enormous as its construction.
Yes, marriage makes your life COMPLICATED, as it’s no longer of your sole control.
Yet we women want to get married, because we want LOVE. But marriage is not only about love. Just the way we want children because we like cute things, But having children is pretty far from having cute things. At times, kids can make your life so miserable that it helps little that they look so cute.
But love is surely important, just as duty. When you’re dating, you fall in love, it happens like rain fall and wet your coat. In marriage, you have to grow your love, guard for your love, and feed your love. Like you do to a pet, or a kid. It takes effort.
Everything takes effort. Nothing comes free. But i don’t think life is more difficult when you’re married. I think it’s just NATURAL how it should be.