Old age

I was thinking sadly about life after visiting France and his wife. They are in their seventies, and quite sick. And they won’t get better, rather just the opposite, older and weaker, eventually at some point they will die.

It’s not a nice feeling when you see you no longer can care for the house, the garden, or yourself. Future is gloomy and hopeless. I’d be rather depressive in their shoe.

My husband says it’s just normal, everyone gets old, sick and die.  I think i must still feel myself very young, this future is still very far from me. And then i think so what do we do to our young life before we get to be very old and sick?

We work, earn money, buy house, travel, raise kids, do all kind of interesting things, hobby, and when it’s still so nice life seems to go on forever.

But the truth, sad truth for me, is no matter what we do in this meantime, there it stands at the other end of our life, old age, sickness and death. Let’s run away from it if we can, as away as possible.

How to stop to get old. Maybe training.

I know I should train more. I have always been lazy, but …. ok, my fault.

Maybe healthy food.

I have always been eating as healthy as I can. So there’s not much I can do about it.

And i think those ‘so called’ super food like grass extract or whatever are just rubbish and won’t help you.

Well, what else, Hmm…

Ok, it’s impossible to avoid getting old. We don’t fight the impossible. We accept it. Shit, I don’t like this at all.

And if we accept it, we prepare for it. Sad.

france has only one son. And to my surprise, as France seems to live a wealthy life, his son earns his living by selling CDs. I would not like my kid to sell CDs. At least she should be at the same level as us, doing some normal job, earning some normal money.

And it’d be a big burden for her being the only one to be responsible for us. She would need to take care of us, the house, the garden, if we still have one, and her own housework, her own kids and family, her own job, her own health. Well, that’s a lot.

Maybe now is time we should get one more kid, such that Nhim will have a sibling for share her duties with. 2 more kids is even better. But honestly I don’t know if I can be so brave. Having children is burdensome, but at the other end of your life this burden MAY turn into an asset. As we grow old, we become like children too, helpless and dependent.

When I’m sick, I’d prefer to have my mum around. But of course, it’s not possible. Being old and sick and alone is a horrible feeling. Normally I don’t think much how it is for old people. Simply because I’m not old. They belong to a world unknown to me. When you’re in your 20s or 30s, you’re full of energy, and opportunities,You feel you can do so much. You don’t feel you need anyone, because you can get new jobs, meet new people, go to new places.

But it will come, looks like, days when you have to ask for help, not nice, because you can’t manage your self. If you have money you can pay for the help, for housework, for gardening, for doctor. But I don’t think I’d collect so much money in whole of my youth either. Most people will not have so much money either. Moreover, I personally want to feel some emotional warmth around me. Knowing someone from the family, some one who care and love and connected to me to be there with me. I guess, we all do.

Ok, that means I’d have to try to live a good marriage, such that I’d have an old husband, be a as nice person as I can, such that I’d have some friends, have at least one more baby, such as I’d have 2 kids with me when I’d be old. I can offer to babysit their babies too, such as I’d have some grandchildren to come and visit me.

It’s ok to be a bit calculating in life I think, as long as it doesn’t do harm to anyone.



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