Christian

I actually don\t mind losing him as our friend. I never really like him. There’s something in him that just irritated me, even though he is very nice to us and we’re curious how it goes with his love affair. Anyway, he triggered a lot of thoughts in me.

Christian has a Vnese gf, I don’t know if he still does. She has some feature similar to me. I think both of them would be horrible disappointed should they succeed to be together in the end. It sounds like a romantic love story, but  it just sounds like so.

Christian is a person of huge contrasts. It’s confusing to know such people. I’d always try to stay away from them as much as I can, from my old experience and now proven time and time again.

I heard how he talked to his gf on the phone ” Hello my love”, and in fact he isn’t really sure if he loves her. I mean as a man he should know first of all what he feels and what he wants. If he want to marry her or not. Because fishing out a person from their world and put her some thousand miles away into a alien environment, is a big and responsible decision. In the name of love, which he is not sure about.

Christian is a pity guy. He’s the victim of his situation. He unluckily fell in love, and unluckily he’s a nice guy so he behaves how he should when a nice guy is in love. He calls the girl everyday, He spent all his saving and vacation travelled to her despite his tight budget, he spend money on her, without letting her know he has problem making ends meet.He invite her to travel for fun on his expense while he should be saving for their shared future.

All such gentleman-wanna-be gallantry just annoyed me so much. Why he can not just be honest and realistic and responsible? I mean it’s nice that he’s generous, but I assume people should be generous only when they can afford it. Building up an illusion is just a bad and irresponsible thing. And not a “man” thing if you can’t even face yourself and admit that “no, I’m not sure I really want to marry you. I’m not sure if I love you. I’m not sure I am really so good guy.” You don’t need to be good if it’s only for the sake of face-keeping.

But I know he’d never spilt it out. Poor guy.

I mean it’s amazing how coward we are in terms of honesty. We don’t even dare to be honest to ourselves nor show an honest face and attitude to others. Others here I mean those closest to us, not counting lightly acquaintances. We want to be round and make people happy by the cost of their bigger but later misery. We’re just so hopeless in the trap of trying to be nice.

So i tried to be honest and not nice. And it just ended our friendship, but I’m happy we did it. It’s better for Christian to get our message and honest feedback rather than a nice-wanna-be friendship.

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