Guilty

I’m feeling guilty this morning.

I failed to set up alarm clock by mistake,

so we got up late because I was waiting for the alarm clock,

so I had to send her to kindergarten without breakfast, she complained she was a bit hungry,

and we were anyway late for her trip with the group,

but we caught up with them halfway, ans she walked with them the rest halfway, nicely without crying or protesting.

I went home and had my breakfast, thinking about her and feel guilty about eating breakfast myself.

But she’ll have food in an hour, so being hungry for 1 hour is not so horrible.

We’ll see if she’d eat better today in kindergarten. Maybe it can help her appetite. In that case, it’s not so horrible either.

I’m working at home and still feel guilty about messing up her day. Her teacher must be frowning on me too because she asked me to come earlier but of course I’m late as always.

I need to tell myself a little consolation before coming to fetch her in 1h15 min.

I will always make sure I set up alarm clock properly.

I will trust my biological alarm clock more, that means checking what time it is when I happen to wake up.

I will go to sleep earlier and wake up earlier, that means cutting sitting with computer in evening unless I have to.

Keeping a moderate amount of stress and obligation feeling, that way I keep my day on track.

If only I fix this waking up issue, then I think I’m a pretty decent mum.

I tell myself everyone needs to swallow some bitter feeling from time to time, when you know you do something less than perfect and people get upset and think of you as hopeless, well … that’s not very sweet, but anyway it’s done and it’s a relatively small thing.

It’s a good thing to feel guilty sometime if you can fix it tomorrow.

Or at least you’d hope to, tomorrow.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s