Nhim was sulky.
Dad: Nhim, why are you sulky?
Nhim: ………. (sticking out low lip)
Dad: Huh? Why are you sulky? (Intonation indicating: there is nothing to be sulky about, come on.)
Nhim: Oaa.. . oaa…
Dad: (sigh) Dad don’t know why you are sulky.
It was just very wrong. When women are sulky and you want to know why, NEVER ask: why are you sulky? Because it means that you interrogate her, and don’t have any consideration for her feelings. You don’t want to make any effort.
It’s simply a sin to ask. It’s your task/punishment to find it out by yourself. Women are sulky = their feelings are hurt.So don’t ask her to lower herself so much as to explain by herself. Her feeling legitimate the right to silence.
The worst thing to say is to admit that you don’t know why. Because it means you already give up before even trying to trace her reason. If you treat her feeling seriously, then it should be worthy for you to think about what may cause her misery. For women, it’s a very BIG thing that you take her feelings seriously.
But why is she sulky anyway?
Here how women want it to go:
Ask: Are you sulky … (register her feeling)
If you are the last person she talked to before getting sulky
….. of me? (take the responsibility on yourself)
Don’t even expect a reply, but if she’s not sulky of you, she’d rather say ‘no’. Silence means rather ‘yes’.
How to get to know why she’s sulky: think what you two were speaking recently, if you can’t think up any, make some blind guesses. No matter if they are correct or not, what matters is that she sees you’re making the effort, thinking about what she might think, evaluating what can be important for her. That pleases women.
After several guesses, she may get pleased enough that she can be a little generous as to tell/tip you the real reason.
Then, here it’s important to claim (no matter what her reason for sulkiness is) that:
I see, you have right to feel sulky about that.
Women are always right – it’s the ultimate truth. All other knowledge in the world ranks second. It’s the ‘Open sesame’ to women’s ear to any explanation or arguments you have. If you don’t admit this truth, whatever you say after probably just makes very little sense to her.
You may absolutely don’t think she’s right, but here it’s about her right to her feelings. Feeling sulky is a (female) human right which surely is claimed somewhere in UN conventions. To women, it’s extremely important that human rights are respected, so say it.
By now, she’d rather feel soothed enough to hear whatever you have to say.
Don’t forget to end with:
Will you forgive me?
Don’t expect a grand reply, can be a very faint nod, but show gratitude, best by a kiss.
That’s how to get to a happy aftermath with sulky little woman, dad. And it works for both 3 years old and 33 years old.
But i know, her dad will just throw hands in the air in surrender gesture and say: Oh women, women. I will never understand women….