What is mine is …. mine

“… You can also leave her your wisdom, your calm soul, your peaceful quietness, your care…I cannot tell all.
I think I will still want to leave my child the love for baking.🙂
A reply to her comment.
No, I can’t.
My wisdom, my soul, my quietness, my care, etc. All those, they are MINE. I’m not going to leave any of them to anyone, because I simply can’t.
– My wisdom is from the bitter failures i had (which I’m not writing here so you don’t know).
– My soul is from the books i read, music i listened, sight i saw, thoughts i thought. Read, listen, see, think. They are active verbs. You’ve got to do it to get it.
– My quietness is from the ridicules, sorrow, shame i got.
– My care is from the loss i fear.
They are all the fruits of my own life. I got them because i live my life.
She will live her life and will have the fruits of her own life. But not from mine. They don’t come in gene.
Because i can’t live her life for her (she won’t allow it either).
It’s like you can’t acquire the skill of driving a car by watching another person drive a car. You have to sit there, turn the key, move the steering wheel, bump somewhere (hopefully not fatal), feel the shake, say ‘Oh shit’, then back off, and try again.
She has to do it all by herself.
What i can do is to sit there on the passenger seat, suggest her to turn left or right, analyze with her what movement is favourable and what is not. Apparently try to give her as a safe and good car as possible to train with, and possibly pay for some initial scratches she made on it.
That’s practically most what we as parents can do.
Some parents gave their child a very bad car. Some kids learn to drive all by themselves without any parent’s supervision. Doesn’t mean all these kids will kill themselves in accidents. Some become even very good drivers. But the ratio is rather small. You know that if you give your kid a shitty start, it’s a big risk they’ll end up in shitty result.
I mean we parents can only give them a role model, can create a good environment, prepare them with some skills, give them encouragement, advice, motivation, show direction, and cross our fingers and hope that it’s good enough. I know very intellectual parents who tried too hard and produce kids who end up doing physical job. I know parents who were not attentive enough and produced kid who got confused what they want in life. There’s never a guarantee what kind of person your kid will grow into. But if we did all we could so we don’t need to regret anything.
And you can only show your child how to bake, how the cakes taste, where to find the recipe, and leave your child your oven to play with. There’s no guarantee she/he will pick up your love for baking.
But at least if you tried, so there’s a probability.
And we all like lotto.

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