I’m reading The suitcase kid by Jacqueline Wilson and i’ve been crying like a baby. I bought the book (for 10 kr) because of Stefan and Anita. I was thinking about them. I wanted to know more how it’s like in their situation.
It’s been a year or so since i heard the news. Still it’s so painful to think that they’re no longer together. If it’s painful for me, it has to be horrible for them. We used to look up so much to them, what a lovely couple. On their door there was always a heart made of twisted dry branches, and such girly garden decorations which i will never waste money buying. They all were to say: Hey, we’re so happy here, in our lovely happy home. As if you could almost see rays of love radiating from their house. In the hallway, i remember (i was there only once) there was a picture of a flamenco couple, woman in bright red dress. A declaration of passionate love to the world, i was thinking.
And she’s so beautiful. She’s blond and tall and slender, like a model. But that makes she matches so well with Stefan because he’s even taller than her. My husband said she’s like a little tornado when she scolded Gaute on the generalforsamling. Sure, she’s a strong woman who’s not afraid to say what she thinks. Stefan, on the opposite, is a very calm guy, typical Norwegian, though his surname suggests somewhat different.
How can you divorce such a beauty. She’s a nice woman too. My doubt is that it’s her who initiated the divorce. I see that he keeps her surname, but she doesn’t keep his. Maybe he did something horrible, which is hard to imagine as he’s a nice guy and caring for her. And til now we’ve always seen him alone, doesn’t look like he has someone else, and he’s an engaged father to Leo. I saw Anita with another guy on terrace last summer. I was on the lekeplass and i tried hard to figure out if it was not Stefan. This guy has beard too, but he was not Stefan as he’s not as good-looking as Stefan. And doesn’t seem as nice either. Pretty people should just stick to each other, shouldn’t they?
I was sad. I was not their kid, not even their close friend. We said hei and have some casual chit chat when we happen to meet, but not as close as with Stine or Inngunn. We simply have not much in common. But i really like them. They look good together. I can’t think up what the hell could make them divorce. Sure they may be different, she’s like a boiling volcano and he’s like an iceberg. But folk can learn to compromise, and people like them should handle it.
And the most horrible thing of all is that when i told people how shocked i was, they kind of say: it’s fine, they organized it in very good way for Leo, very well for him, and stuffs. And my jaw just dropped. It was even more shocking. And then they asked me how is divorce rate in Vietnam, assuming that i’ve crawled out of the jungle not so long so i’m not yet acquainted to the normal standard. Just look around, who’s not getting divorced these days. What the fuck? Why people try to put some nice blanket over something which is obviously horrid. Ok, if he beats her, or she’s cheating on him, or both of them making life a living hell for each other, then it’s justified. But it doesn’t seem so, according to the dry-stick hearts, or the flamenco. Divorce is a horrible, painful thing, and even time has passed, you can’t say it’s okay, as it’s not okay. It never is.
We’re living in such a civilized world, so civilized to a scary extend that we’re so afraid of hurting others’ feeling and intruding into others’ privacy that we don’t even dare to care, or to say the truth. Noone dare to ask ‘Why? what happened?’ Of course, it’s their decision, it must be respected. But maybe it didn’t need to be. Maybe it can be helped. Maybe it’s still not too late. They’re still young, still available. Maybe they can give each other a second chance. I really really hope they’d come back. I think they’re each others’ best chances out there.
But she/he divorced me. Why should i lower myself for a person who was willing to throw me out of the door? That’s why divorce is a horrible thing, as once it’s done, it kind of cuts off their way back. It hurts their ego. I’ll show you i’ll be fine without you. That kind of thinking. I have a thin suspect that it was difficult for Stefan (i simply had no chance to speak with Anita, and even if i’d said hei to her, i wouldn’t know what to say: Hei Anita, how about moving back to Stefan? I’m more than sure she’d punch me square in the face for that.) I think he may resents her for leaving him but if she offers to return, i think he’ll take her back. I’d like to think that he loves her so much he’d allow her anything she wants, even to divorce him (i know i’m a bit over the cloud on this point, but that’s the idea).
The other day, it was New Year. I saw Stefan going towards the staircase, probably to a party. And 2 minutes later, i met Anita and Leo going from another direction to home. So near, yet so far, and I feel honestly upset why there are two good people just hanging out there, looking for someone and didn’t grasp each other. How could it be?