Fatigue

I’m entering this phase: fatique.

As in all big or medium size projects, people are due to experience it at some point. Maybe it paradoxically is a good thing, a sign that you’ve been moving forward.

But honestly, I’m fatique, start to feel ‘enough’, that even the wind against my face is getting me on the edge, that surrounding, unrelated issues stacking up against me, challenging my border of endurance, that parts inside me are starting a slow, numb process of dying, rottening, smelly-ing.

Told myself: Stop coping. Don’t think about it (‘it’ x multiple times) today/now. I’m pushing it to tomorrow, to the future, to a time when i gather enough strength/courage/etc. to confront it. Now I just want peace.

I know I’ve come to this known place again, to the point I need to push my own border, trying harder than I actually can, giving 100 and 20 % of youself, stepping out of comfort zone, the place where will power decides whether you excell or not, depending on how much stubborn you are in refusing to let go.

It’s just the beginning of fatique, meaning it’s gonna get tougher.

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